She played mommy to this child, as best she could, falling short of expectations that were held by her husband's family. She disappointed them. They disappointed her. She started to resent them, and said husband for lack of support and understanding. She was called an overbearing mother, too young and naive to really know how to be good enough, they said. They dissected her every decision and questioned the paternity, her, and her parenting skills. She fell hard. But not into love with her husband. She fell into hatred. What a thin line, between love and hate, they said. She could no longer keep on with this passive-agressive role she had taken. Constantly defending herself. It was a war zone, and she was never born a fighter. She was tired, weak, and had lost all hope to someday be good enough for someone.

He left. For six months. Because of his job. She stayed alone. For a couple months. His friends would come and go at first, being supportive. Then they all stopped coming around. He left her broke, with a young, sick baby to care for on her own. She dropped her college courses before she even began. Her dreams of becoming an educated woman were ruined. Not by a child, but by a man. Who was supposed to love, honor and obey her, and vice versa. Or so said vows were said the previous year. Then along came a man, disguising himself as a friend.

He was understanding. He cared. She liked him. Developed feelings that were stupid for him. She let him in. Not only in her heart but in herself. Then, husband was coming back. She left friend. Sadly and tearfully, but she left him. It was hard to let him go. He opened up a part of her that would never fully close. She demanded divorce from husband. He laughed. Then cried. Asked for a second chance. And after a second of reconsideration, she accepted it. Making a mental note that six months was all she would give him.

Fast forward to eight months later. Same couple with a young child. Still married. Still miserable. Counseling was unfounded and unhelpful. She drank too much, bitched too much, was unhappy too much. He wanted more than she would give. She wanted more than he could offer. She was stubborn and worn down. Exhausted from a life she never desired for herself. But to other who looked in, it was a perfect union. No one suspected any resentment or hatred. He had started to lay hands on her. But she taught him a lesson once, and he learned it well. No more hands on this woman, end of story. Well, at least that one.

She moved out, for the first time. He still came by everyday. She still cooked and cleaned for him. So what was the difference? She had no clue. But that is how it was. She met someone else. Someone who excited her and made her feel alive, when she had almost felt dead. He fulfilled the romance that she craved. And she thanked her God for sending such a wonderful blessing into her heart. He was great, or so she believed. He treated her child as though it were his own, and he treated her like gold. He was accepting of her mistakes and realized that she was not perfect. But that she would try to make him happy, whatever the cost. Then, he started to frighten her. She feared for her life and her son. She tried to leave him, but he insisted. He made her miserable. She couldn't find help. For he had isolated her, just as her husband had. She was stupid for making the same mistake twice in a row. She was thankful, when the military decided to move her again. This time, to Maryland. And off she went, this damsel-in-distress.

She arrived to Maryland, alone. No friends, family, or aquantances in the immediate area. She had never truly been on her own. She got her own place. This time without the soon to be ex husband lounging around in his underwear, requesting food and beer. She had her own things. But most importantly, she had her own freedom. Something that can not be purchased. She was going to learn just how much her heart could take, on her own. She found her inner strenght again. She spoke for herself, and did as she pleased. She made a couple mistakes. Picked the wrong people and friends to be with, but she took them as learning experiences. She had learned to appreciate a good thing when she saw it.

Then, one day at work, she saw someone that caught her eye. She was captivated by this person. He was tall, and just the cutest thing she had seen. He was what she had wanted. But she took her time with it. She didn't want to rush into anything again. And after all she had been through she was afraid that he might be mentally unstable, or abusive. Or just an asshole. But she would see him, and like him more each time they talked. He was genuinely sweet. Not saccharine or artificial. He was real. He asked her out. She ran away and laughed. Not in a mean way, but just balked at the idea. She was fearful of falling again. She took a chance. After much consideration, and just threw out her self doubts and insecurities out the window. She wanted to be open minded. If it wasn't romance he was after, maybe she would at least gain a good friend.

Gradually, she started to fall for this mysteriously kind person. He was what she had wanted. Honest, kind, loving, caring, loyal and just overall a good person. She felt she had met her equal. And it was good. I would love to say they lived happily ever after. But I don't know if she has, yet. It became serious really quickly. He gave her the kind of commitment she longed for. And she was ever grateful for this. For she had finally found someone to make her feel good about herself, and he accepts her as she is. With the young child, ex-husband, flaws and all. So maybe sometime, I can tell you that this story has a happy ending. But I am still awaiting this answer. And they are, too.