Last year I...
Was living "alone" for the first time ever....
Was separated from my "husband"......
Was legally cheating on my "husband".....
Was working on New Years Day.....
Had a great view on how life was going to be without "husband".........
Had an almost 2 year old who adored me.....
Was in Texas, and thought I would be there till I died.....
Thought the guy I was with, was a good person.....(boy! was I wrong on that one!)
Had several mental breakdowns.....
Was being sued by the state of Texas and the Attorney General....(thanks, MOM!!)
This year I....
Am living alone with Gabe....for real.....
Am divorced from "husband"......
Am in a serious relationship with Randy.....
Worked on New Years Day.....
Have a shitty view of life.....in general....
Have an almost 3 year old who treats me like shit......
Currently live in the DC area....will be here till 2008.....
Think the guy I am with is awesome.....(hopefully my judgement is better!)
Haven't broken down....but I did almost cry this morning.....
Am still being sued by the state of Texas, blah blah blah.....
Isn't it fucking hilarious how so many things may change but yet, so many stay exactly the same?! They are forever constant...always there....omnipotent in their own right. I still feel tied down to "husband", because he calls me every day and tries to talk to me like we are still married. I am a resentful person. I hold resentment. For everything and everyone. I just can't let it go. I still hate my mother, even though the thought of her missing so much of my son's life bothers me. I want him to have as much family as possible. I wish I could learn to let go. Of a lot of things. I have been misjudged because I am young, because I am hispanic. Because I have a kid and I am only 22. I'm not as bad as I might seem or as I may come off to people. I work my ass off and I try hard to be a good person, for what?! I just pray....that in 2006....I find a lot less tears....a lot less heartache...and a lot less stress....I hope that this is the better year that I have hoped for....Cheers for now... I'll let you know next year, if it was okay....or not.... |
You found a really great guy. And you have your child.
Everything else is pretty much meaningless in the grand scheme of things..