 I knocked on the door, three times. I had shuffled around the vending machine waiting for the eternity that was a minute to pass by. I stood there, looking at that omnipotent door, as though it were infected. I stilled my breath so that I could hear the quiet chatter inside that room. "Enter", she says. I walk in looking at my boots. Wishing I had had more time to shine them to a nice gloss. I walked in, closing the door silently. I looked at the familiar faces, and tried not to show the fear and anxiety on my face. My heart was racing . I surpressed a giggle, and tried not to blush. But once you try not to blush you blush more. I could not bring myself to meet their eyes. I stood there for what seemed an eternity. Very still. I saluted, announced my name and greeted the President and the other members. She tells me to sit. Which I do. And self conciuosly wonder if I shall remember anything that I have studied in the past week. My mind is a big blank. Nothing. Just silence ringing in my ears. I hear them distantly speaking. And I nod my head in the right places. But my mind is a million miles away. They start firing questions at me. I answer as best I could. I giggle. I smile. Not in a flitatious manner, but in a nervous one. I can't make eye contact. I'm ferociously red, and my palms are sweaty, sticky and sliding on my lap. I turn my head. I hear the loudness of my heartbeat pumping in my ear. The wall clock counts off seconds, but they seem too long and foreign. Within a span of 10 minutes, they finish. My heart slows as I know we are nearing the end. I had a horrible opening, but the ending was good. I succeded in not making a complete and utter fool of myself. The she speaks. Constructive criticism, they called it. I bite my lip too much. I look up. I don't make eye contact. I giggle. I smile. I answered truthfully and didn't try to fluff myself up to some bad-ass army girl. I wasn't Hooah enough. But what bothered me, was the biting my lip too much. Yes, my nervousness makes me bite my lips. Lack of carmex makes me bite my lips. But why would they say it's a bad thing? So that was my board. We'll see how I do on the real one. I'm off to study. |
I like when you bite your lip, it's a lot sexier than that pic though.