Will I ever make it home....: Tell me

Will I ever make it home....

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Tell me

This is for The Scheherazade Project: Theme for 7/17-7/30. Enjoy! Oh, and for the other S Project players that check out my "story", please leave all your criticism and thoughts. Thank you!

The light filtered in through a triangular window, slapping all the contents inside of the smokey room with vigorous beams of intensity. The light flickered momentarily. The smoke swam in the enclosed spaces of the room, dancing erotically towards the ceiling and dark corners. Some of it licked the window obsessively as if it were kissing an old lover. The glass did not return the affection. The seductive manner of the smoke agaisnt the bitter window was the ultimate oxymoron of life. The twirls and curls of smoke drifted passed the rays of light, and continued on its lonely dance. I could feel it crawling on my skin, tickling my cheek.

"So, you said you didn't see anything?", She whispered towards me. Her face was covered in shadows. But even through the darkness of the corners in the area, I could feel her unnerving presence. Her inner life shown through the almost dead eyes, and her skin glowed. A droplet trickled down gracefully on her neck. It was the only tender thing in there. The light reflected the sweat into a million shards of light, and as quickly as I saw it, it disappeared from my view.

"Yes," I enunciated. My voice sounded raspy. Feathery and light. I wanted it to sound harsher.

"And you are claiming to not have heard anything at that time, also?", her velvety voice responded. She sighed as she took a long drag of her cigarette. She blew out the smoke, and it caressed every inch of her sleek hair. It made things look that much more surreal. I could feel her eyes prying through every space in my skull. The paint was chipping in one corner as though it were smiling widely at the smokey sunshine.

I cleared my throat. I shifted the hard metal chair. Took a sip of the acrid coffee. I nodded my head instead of saying a word. She questioned me again with her body, pushing herself into me with just her eyes. I could almost feel them analyzing every inch of my body. "Well, I just.....I- uh....I don't know...You know? I don't know how to say it.....I...hmmm....didn't know....About it all....the whole situation, if you will. I just know that.....it-uh- happened.....so.....fast...and then....I'm here....and.....yeah...-uh-", Is that what she was looking for? I wouldn't stumble over my words, or feel that I should be desperate in my case. I wasn't giving her what she wanted. And we both were aware of it. A hand drew up near me. She was pointing the cigarette at me, but not as an offer. She smiled. It was an icy one. Her hand moved in one fluid movement back to the file in front of her. My gaze followed her every shift. I could hear nothing but the inner workings of my body resounding in my ears.

"Okay, what do you want from me? Do you want me to sit here and give you these answers as if I knew them? Or would you like me to sit here and beg for my life? Well, I'm not some pitiful person with a legion of lies waiting to come out when I want them to," was the words that came from me. I could hardly recognize my voice. It was harsh, but not abrassive. I wasn't trying to put her off. I just wanted her to understand what I had gone through. But she didn't.

"I can't believe you actually think I want to hear your feeble lies! I have no idea why I am wasting my time here. I know everything. I....KNOW.....", she hissed back at me. She never raised her voice, but the venomous tone she took with me made my skin crawl. Her eyes flashed from a burning glow, to empty abandonement. I almost burst out laughing nervously. I was questioning myself. This made no sense. She wasn't in charge. My gaze fell upon her creamy skin, the trickle of sweat. The almost cherubic face, it was one so inviting and welcoming....until your eyes arrived to those plunging eyes. I could almost feel the ground giving out from under me and my body tipping over into those pools of hatred.

She laughed as though she had heard my thoughts. It shredded the smoke and the light outside flickered once more. I shuffled in my chair. Not out of anxiousness, but from the uncomfort from feeling violated in the privacy of my thoughts. "I don't know what you want fro-", I was interrrupted by her poisonous voice.

"Oh shut up! Look, I am going to tell you a little story...Let's see if you're intelligent, that means smart, enough to figure it out. Does that sound fair?", she impatiently said. I could feel the anger spewing up inside of me. I clenched my fist and my teeth bit back the raging words. I insisted on being calm, but reassured myself to not give her anymore ammunition. I wanted to protest that I wasn't the one she wanted. But I didn't. I returned her cool gaze. And perked up my ears as if interested in listening.

"One day", she sweetly began," there was a girl. She was beautiful. Envy of all those around her, yet so kind that it was hard to actually hate her. Dancing her way into hearts, laughing her path into life. She was this almost angelic figurine. Beautiful, sweet, kind, caring......", she continued. But I drowned her out. I began to think of how I ended up here. I could see everything clearly. What lead me here? How could I have been so naive? Why did I do those things for him?

Understand one thing when you see me in the courtroom. Don't judge me without hearing me out. I know what love is about. I know what it is. It is always about loss. Loss of hope. Loss of dreams. Loss of self. No matter how you slice it, it always ends up the same. You compromise yourself. Even the person in the same place as you could agree. You do things diffently than you had planned. That's what happened here. I was in that loss. I was being twisted and mangled in the process. Like we all do.

"Please, please....don't....I am sorry....Please! I love you. I LOVE YOU. I'll do whatever you want!!!" That carried me through each day. Through the stares. Through the lonely nights since...well....

Oh, her voice was like maple syrup. She was beautiful. And yeah, I loved her. Loved her until I killed her with my love....and with my hands.

Stupid bitch.

posted by The Devil @ 6:48 AM

2 Comments:

At 3:14 PM, AndyT13 said…

I like the whole story and the descriptions are amazing. I want more. Why did she kill her? What exactly happened? I feel left hanging. Bummer.
I do have one criticism. I hate the first sentence. I laughed out loud when I read it. I've heard of "chewing on the scenery" but that's ridiculous. "slapping all the contents inside of the smokey room with vigorous beams of intensity" WHAP! It's just a little bit too over the top. The rest of the detailed descriptions work fabulously.
At 3:44 PM, Calliope said…

I was thrown by the "him" as well- but other than that I really, dare I say it, enjoyed it. You set the scene very well.