Will I ever make it home....: 10 Secrets......10 People.....

Will I ever make it home....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

10 Secrets......10 People.....

I posted this on myspace, thought it was a good idea. It's nice to put all that bad juju on "paper" instead of carrying it around. Now I can live guilt free I suppose.

1) List 10 things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.

1. You know, I thought we were friends, but you had to go and be scandalous. And that is just something I can't necessarily tolerate. I hate stupid drama. But you have to always go off and start some dumb bullshit. I'm glad that you are happy, now. Even bitches deserve to have some good in their lives.

2. I'm sorry that I did that to you. Really. I shouldn't have just broken your heart, that way. I seriously hope that you have found someone that makes you happy. I am happy, now. Thank you for always being there when I needed it. I should have been better for you, but things happen for a reason.

3. I was never going to actually stay with you. But circumstances prevented me from leaving. I don't regret what happened between us. It made me a stronger person. Thank you for aiding me in growing up. I wish I could have gotten over myself long enough to be a better partner. But I was too conflicted with my own desires of independence to even begin to be ready for what you asked of me. And if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have had the greatest gift we have now.

4. Well, I wish I could tell you that I hate you. But I can't bring myself to do it to you. I wanted to for so long. You're always going to be a part of me, no matter how much I deny you. I needed you and you weren't there. You hurt me badly. But it's all good, because I am learning from your mistakes and seeing that it must have been difficult for you to cope with that situation. I will let him make his own judgements of you when he gets older. Maybe you can be better for him, than you were for me.

5. I thought I loved you. But as I have grown older, I realized that that wasn't love just mere infatuation. I was obsessed with what I thought was you. You lied to me for years and I was naive enough to believe you. When I found out the truth I was beyond hurt and asside with hatred for you. But I am glad that you apologized to me. And you taught me so much.

6. Keep drawing on your eyebrows, bitch. You're still ugly. And even though you tried to make my life shitty, and you did piss me off a great deal. I am all the better for it. Because as you sit at home not doing shit with your life, I am seeing so many beautiful things and experiencing life. So, I hope that no one ever treats you like you did me.

7. Hey, you! Yeah, thanks for being a shitty ass boss. Because I can now appreciate the good ones I have now. You made me a better worker and you taught me a lot about how people can be when put in positions of power. Especially those that don't deserve it.

8. I have never met you and you probably don't know about me. But I always have thoughts of you lingering in the back of my mind. I wish I could just see you. I want to know what you look like. What your voice is like. Because I carry a part of you in me. And I just want to answer some questions about myself. I know never will be able to bring myself to look for you. I just don't want to crash your life.

9. I wish I could have been a better friend to you. I want to call you sometimes, but I can't. It's so hard to know that you will never know how thankful I was for our friendship. You made a hard part of my life so much more tolerable. I hope you are in a better place now, and that you have finally found the peace you deserve.

10. You fucking crazy ass motherfucker. You taught me a lot! Without you, I probably I wouldn't have done all the things I did last year. I am glad that you taught me that I could be independent. And you said I hurt you? Well, in all honesty I don't think you ever had feelings for me. Just for yourself. You are obssessive, compulsive and psychotic in your love for yourself. And that was not healthy. Not for me, not for you. You have better things to live for, than someone who wasn't ready to love you.

posted by The Devil @ 8:23 AM

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